Tems reveals toxic relationship where partner tried to 'own' her

Nigerian singer Tems has revealed she endured a toxic relationship marked by obsession and possession, contrasting it with her belief that true love is partnership, not ownership. In a candid interview with media personality Angie Martinez, the 'Essence' crooner explained: "I have experienced love where I thought it was love but it was more like when someone is trying to own you. They think that they own you. And that's not love." She emphasized: "Love is not obsession. And it is not possession. I can't own another human being. Love is when both of you become one person. We don't own each other, we are each other."

The artist noted that toxic relationships drain you because often the toxic partner isn't even aware of their behavior. "I feel everyone has experienced toxic love with someone who doesn't even know that they are toxic," she said. "They say they love you but they don't know that they don't even love you. Because you can't love someone you feel you own."

Tems' insight carries weight as a prominent Nigerian female artist shaping conversations about love and boundaries for her fans and the broader public. Her perspective challenges traditional notions of romance that may prioritize control over mutual respect. By sharing her experience, she highlights the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns in relationships.

How does Tems' definition of love as partnership rather than ownership reshape expectations in modern Nigerian relationships, and what boundaries should be non-negotiable in a healthy partnership?

SOURCE: https://dailypost.ng/2026/04/03/he-was-obsessed-possessive-tems-recounts-toxic-relationship/